30 Things Married Women Need To Know

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  1. Put on your wedding band.
  2. You are beautiful when you smile.
  3. If your man can’t feel the love from you, he’ll feel it from someone else.
  4. If he brings you to his friends, put that phone away.
  5. If you bring him to your friends, stay by his side.
  6. He is most probably not interested in knowing about your guy friends.
  7. There will always be woman finding your man attractive
  8. If he tries to be funny, laugh.
  9. Keep your man’s stomach full.
  10. And his balls empty.
  11. Pick the right time for everything.
  12. You’re beautiful, even if you think you’re fat.
  13. You can sleep everyday, but erection goes weaker day by day.
  14. If your man is quiet, he hopes you will be too.
  15. Nagging doesn’t solve any problem. Thinking of ways will.
  16. I will support you” is not an action sentence. Supporting is a verb.
  17. You dress up for your man, not the men on the streets.
  18. Candy Crush will not make love with him.
  19. Spontaneous sex is good.
  20. So is morning blowjob.
  21. Your lack of libido is YOUR problem. He can’t help you.
  22. Every man hopes to give his wife a good life. So does he.
  23. Seduce him.
  24. Cleavage is hot. Show him.
  25. Men love to be spooned too.
  26. When he’s looking pissed, shut up.
  27. Your kid(s) is/are his too.
  28. Everyone has only 24 hours a day. So does he.
  29. Freaking out helps nothing.
  30. You’ll grow grumpy one day.

41c1d-originalAndy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people.

He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You.

He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.

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20 responses to “30 Things Married Women Need To Know

  1. yup, I failed at the very first one. He doesn’t wear his either though! I think I’ve got the rest of it under control…it’s been working for 14 years. LOL
    that’s a very nice list, you pretty much nailed it : )

    Like

    • Oh! Thank you so much, Amy! I’m so happy that I’m in your list of nominees. 🙂

      But I’ve already gotten the award already (although the award looks a little different in terms of graphical sense), and I’m kinda running out of nominees. Hence, I might not be able to pass it forward. Still, I’ll have it displayed, because it’s from you.

      Nevertheless, I thank you very much for having me in mind. It’s an honour to me, and it really make my day! 😀

      Like

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