I’m A Psychic, Yes I Am

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I was squinting my eyes in the morning reading about the 5 Successful People Who Everyone Forgets Are Exposed Frauds when the story about Theresa Caputo (#3) caught my attention.

I guess I need to say “thanks” to her, because reading about her had me cleared my eye mucus and woke me up from the morning grogginess. And after reading, I realized…. I’m a psychic too.

I didn’t know I have this amazing power like Caputo; I sort of have it since I was around 5 years old, if I am getting the years right. Since young, I knew exactly when my mom was going to grab that cane and hit the shit out of me. And no, it weren’t from her breathings or her abnormally large eyes. It was my psychic powers.

Don’t take what I wrote at face value. Try me out to believe me, because I know what you’re thinking in a while. Read on.

#1. You’re thinking: “That’s impossible; I’m going to try it.”

I got you, didn’t I?

 

#2. You’re thinking: “Hell, that doesn’t count

See what I told you?

 

#3. You’re thinking: “That’s common sense!”

I need not say further.

 

#4. You are reading on, trying to blank out your mind (but apparently, you can’t). And you kind of are thinking about what to think about.

 

#5. Finally, you are smiling a little, and you’re looking good when you smile.

 

#6. You’re going to skip my post signature below.

 

 

41c1d-originalAndy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people.

He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You.

He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.

 

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12 responses to “I’m A Psychic, Yes I Am

  1. With your great power comes great responsibility! Use it wisely.

    Now if you can put thoughts in peoples heads like “follow your dreams” and “put down the soda, its killing you” or “get off the couch and exercise” then you would really be in business.

    Regards,
    Clifford Mitchem
    Advocare Distributor
    Nutrition + Fitness = Health
    http://www.AdvoCare.com/13087657

    Like

  2. Haha, you’re right about skipping the post signature 🙂 But I read that article and I’m seriously upset at the fact that the Amittyville Horror wasn’t real. (Not for the family of course. Nobody wants to be possessed.) Still… I’m pretty bummed out. Also, that Caputo lady was doomed from the moment she went on that show “Bethanny” or however her parents chose to misspell it. That show sucks and the host is super obnoxious but all I could see in that video was the pretend-psychic’s nails.

    Like

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