Little Johnny Strikes Again

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A Primary School teacher was having trouble with one of her students, and out of all students, he had to be Johnny.The teacher asked, “Johnny, what is your problem?” Johnny answered, “I’m too smart for the Primary 1. My sister is in Primary 3 and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in Primary 3 too!”

Upset over his arrogance at this young age, the teacher took Johnny to the principal’s office.

While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher in order to put Johnny in place, he would put the boy through a series of questions, and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the Primary 1 and behave. The teacher agreed, and Johnny was called in. The conditions were explained, and Johnny agreed to take the test.

Principal: What is 3 x 3?

Johnny: 9.

Principal: What is 6 x 6?

Johnny: 36.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a Primary 3 student should know. The principal looked at the teacher and told her, “I think Johnny can go to Primary 3.”

The teacher then said, “May I ask him some tougher questions?”

The principal and Johnny both agreed.

Teacher: What does a cow have four of that I have only two?

Johnny: Legs.

Teacher: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?

The principal opened his eyes wide, unable to believe what he heard.

Johnny: Pockets.

Teacher: What does a dog do that a man steps into?

Johnny: Pants.

Teacher: What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, and it is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

The principal was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

Johnny: Coconut.

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

Johnny: Bubblegum.

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and dog do on three legs?

The principal decided to stop the test, but was ignored by the teacher.

Harry: Shake hands.

Teacher: Now I will ask some ‘Who am I’ sort of questions, okay?

Johnny: Okay.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Who am I?

Johnny: A Tent.

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

The principal was getting tensed.

Johnny: A Wedding Ring.

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good. What am I?

Johnny: A Nose.

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?

Johnny: An Arrow.

Teacher: What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of excitement?

Johnny: Firetruck.

The teacher looked at the principal, and shrugged her shoulders. The principal heaved a sigh of relief and told the teacher:

Put this ass in Primary 6. I got the last 10 questions all wrong myself.”

 

41c1d-originalAndy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people.

He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You.

He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.

 

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4 responses to “Little Johnny Strikes Again

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