43 Years of Sex

Originally Posted On: The World Of Andy Lawson
Original Post Date: 30th June 2014

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You have clicked into a post that has the word SEX in the title, and it shows that you are just as curious about sex as I am. Face it; you clicked in, right? Because sex, no? You’ll be very abnormal if the numbers 43 attracted you.

I’m not going to shortchange you for your curiosity in sex. I’m going to touch on it later. But first, let me talk about the story behind the 43 years I use to mislead you in. Why does this come first? Read on, and you’ll know.

I came home last night to my wife watching a show about how an old man found his lover (continue reading) after being separated from her for 43 years. As I walked into the room, I saw my wife weeping as she reached the last part of this less-than-real reality 42 minutes video (I don’t place too much hope on China productions, you’ll get the point soon, if not now).

The story was about a man, who during his younger days got involved with a lover after he got married. According to the show, he was betrothed before birth, so technically, it was an “I don’t love my wife at all” bullshit, and you know how crazy Chinese people could be, if you watched Chinese film before. Essentially, there was a rule that he had to adhere to for god-knows-what-reasons. And the rule spelt “Thou shall not forbade the ridiculous instructions of your parents”.

You don’t love the lady you will be marrying? Doesn’t matter, your parents say you have to.

You want to be with the woman you love? Doesn’t matter, your parents say you can’t because you have to marry the one that you don’t love.

You hope to have 3 children in the future? Doesn’t matter, your government doesn’t agree.

So this man got involved with his colleague 43 years ago, and they fell in love, had sex (here’s the sex part you’ve been waiting for) and gave birth to a boy. The incomprehensible Chinese tradition said that all offspring would follow the father, and single mothers would be condemned to death through drowning by putting into a cage and drop the damn thing into the water. So the mother of this young woman who just had sex with a married man, after handing over the child to the man, brought her away to have her married to another man who would not mind her pre-marital sex past. I know, I am as curious. Why wasn’t abortion considered, right?

43 years went by, and the man’s wife died, which I assume she died from 43 years of anger because she had to put up with being reminded of her husband having sex with another woman (come’on…women forgive but not forget). The man, now finally freed with his rightful wife’s last breath, and instead of mourning the death of his wife, went on to search for this woman he had secretly loved for 43 years through the help of television. They went on TV, and finally, after decades of separation, they got to see each other again.

I would not be surprised if the woman could not recognize the man, who is now old and wrinkled with white hair on his head. To cut the story short, they finally remembered whom each other was, and they got together. The question the man put to the woman was, “I’m free. Will you be with me for the rest of my life?”

Fast forward a little, and they got together, and my wife was weeping while she watched it. The show ended, with a little input from the guest of the show (me!) saying, “bullshit”.

I’m not being rude, or insensitive to the couple that finally got to be together after decades of obstacles. Let me tell you why it didn’t make sense to me:

1)    Both of them had their own families after being married to their spouses. 43 years and 2 deaths later, they still love each other. Seriously? I’m not convinced.

2)    There were people watching the video online, and sharing to their friends through Facebook with excitements that were out of the world. How do you know if it’s not a fake set up? Come on…. we are talking about shows that make money from people watching them.

3)    The title of the video.

The Strength of Love

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I asked my wife, who was still drying her tears, that if she’d remember me if I were to die one day. Before she could answer, I said, “I’m confident you’ll forget about me in 4.3 years time. 43 years are too long to be mentioned.”

And she laughed in agreement.

43 fucking years. Any kid born in the first year would reach the age of a young grandfather, and the love was that strong, even if they did not get to see each other at all? It may happen, probably 2 out of the entire world’s population (2/7 billion). We’re not all Jacks and Roses, if you know what I mean.

Everything- Fake-China

China is a country full of fake loves, goods, Starbucks, government, and whatever we can think of. The last show I watched, also a production of China, was a show about a son who took to TV to ask for a sum of money from his father.

In the show, the father sobbed as he told the story of how he was working to feed his 31-year-old son and daughter-in-law, and he even had to clean and wash their house and laundries while his son was busy watching his wife twerking at home and having sex with her. I was very offended when I watched the show, largely because the show excluded the scenes of them having sex at home.

Until I watched another video.

Apparently, this guy’s unfilial character caught the attention of many vigilantes in China, and an order to have him taught a lesson was put out by the general public. The man – the guy who went on the show to ask for money from his father – had to approach a different TV station to shed light on what actually happened in order to protect himself from 1.3 billion Batmans. And if you remember China for what it does best, you got it. It was a fake show meant to drive viewership.  Fucking Chinese.

The Title of The Video

As a matter of fact, I noticed the video being shared on Facebook days before my wife clicked on the link to watch it. The title read: FINALLY GOT TO MARRY THE MAN AFTER BEING HIS MISTRESS FOR 43 YEARS (loosely translated)

Ok, I forgive you if you haven’t been paying attention. Now, take a minute to scroll up and re-read what I have summarized about the show.

If you are like me, with some brains inside your skull, you might be thinking what I thought – 43 years of separation doesn’t equate to being a mistress for 43 years, right?

That’s just how social media tweaks the titles to capture readers, and I’m not awed. I did not watch the show, because China. So I had to ask the person who threw herself into the whole emotional mama-drama to understand more about this video that everyone was sharing with tears – my wife.

Of the many questions in my mind, I put to her:

1)    was the affair ongoing for 43 years? – answer was: no

2)    did they even meet during this 43 years of separation? – answer was: no

3)    when did they get involved sexually? – answer was: before the love child was born.

Fucking uploaders who’d lie to get people sharing their videos. To clear this up: the man and the woman had sex (and I took it as they had sex only once, because one ejaculation is all it takes to impregnate a woman) for few times (okay, I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt) and they had the baby. Then it was straight up a “bye bye” and “hello new love” for the next 43 years.

In what way, pray tell, dear reader, does this construe 43 years of “mistress-ship”?

I don’t know, and I seriously don’t care much (care enough to write it here). But if there is one thing that I could say to the people (mostly women) who are sharing sentimental videos of tragic love stories, I would ask them to think a little before sharing the videos with the titles similar to: FINALLY GOT TO MARRY THE MAN AFTER BEING HIS MISTRESS FOR 43 YEARS

 

41c1d-originalAndy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people. He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You. He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.

 

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