I’ve friends online and offline, and while my friends from both sides are beyond compare, I can’t say the same for them. Having a blogger friend is a terrible thing, truth be told, and it is worse if your blogger friend is me.
On the behalf of my buddies and friends, I am going to share with you, 4 Reasons Why Having a Blogger Friend Is a Bad Idea
#1 He/She is going to write about you one day
Don’t lie to yourself that your buddy is not going to. One day, just one day, he or she is going to write about you. I won’t know if it’ll be a positive or negative article, because that’ll depend on the state of the relationship between you and the blogger. But if the blog circles around his/her life, you’re going to find your name, or descriptions that fit you, in one of the articles one day.
#2 He/She IS opinionated
Is your friend quiet most of the times when you guys/gals are talking about something debatable? Is Obama someone whom you don’t like, but your friend just doesn’t seem to have any opinions when you are voicing out your displeasure?
Trust me when I say your friend HAS his/her opinions. Chances are high that he/she deems a debate is not worth the time, and that’s the reason he/she has nothing to say to you. But behold, he/she will write. In his/her blog.
#3 Their comebacks are potentially much more cruel than you think
We bloggers have Facebook accounts like you, and in between blogging, we’ll Facebook too.
If you are one of the people with low self-esteem, and frequently seeks to one-upping your friend(s), particularly on social media platforms like Facebook, I suggest you pray that he/she is not a blogger.
Because if you piss any of them off until the point that he/she decides to disregard your friendship (usually, bloggers’ thresholds are higher than non-bloggers, so you’ll have a lot of tries), he/she is going to give you a comeback crueler than making you crawl in the mud full of shit and with a sign that says, “I’m an idiot”. We can do much more than just humiliating you. Trust me that when it happens, it’s not going to be as nice as offering you a cookie.
#4 We have minds that you can’t imagine
Piss a blogger off, and you’ll be the practice target of his/her Krav Maga.
You’ll stand there helpless, while punches rain on your face turning it into a pile of plastacine that requires the shaping by a plastic surgeon. And even the surgeon will not be able to make you look like how you used to. Quietly on the other corner of planet earth, your blogger friend will be laughing hysterically with a glass of wine in his/her hand for the punishment laid on you over the crimes you’ve committed.
Of course, everything will happen in the mind of your blogger friend. If Matrix was real, you’d be killed by a blogger not once, but many times.
Andy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people.
He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You.
He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.