30 Reasons Why I Hate You

30 Reasons Why I Hate You

  1. You knocked on the doors, masked your intentions by saying you had important news, and interrupted my sexy time with my wife.
  2. The news that you were spreading was actually illusions that you and your group of deluded friends are having.
  3. You criticize anyone who thinks/believes otherwise.
  4. You ask for evidence from others, but you failed to produce any when it was your turn.
  5. You promise something that you don’t even know if it exists.
  6. You are hypocritical.
  7. You smiled through your teeth in front of me, and gave me the finger when you turned around.
  8. You ask for monthly monetary contribution in the name of someone who doesn’t even need the money.
  9. You teach based on your interpretations, and call them “The Truth”.
  10. You and your fellow friends in the same trade as you can’t get your act together.
  11. You decide what is true from a book that was written by man.
  12. And you do not accept that Spiderman exists.
  13. You like to quote numbers and colons.
  14. Everything out of your limits, you put it to “being part of the plan”.
  15. And disagree when I said homosexuality is also “part of the plan”.
  16. You thank the person whom you can’t see, instead of farmers for the food you eat.
  17. And your imaginary friend instead of the doctor who used his knowledge to cure you.
  18. You deem the “mother” unfit to be worshipped because she’s only human, yet you believe that virgin pregnancy was possible.
  19. You are not receptive to the fact that your book was created by Emperor Constantine
  20. You quote Him everytime you open your damn mouth.
  21. Touching the air is touching the air, not feeling your imaginary friend.
  22. Because you wouldn’t have sex with me, saying that sex outside marriage is a sin.
  23. And then have sex with people of the same sex as you.
  24. You are lazy, and you wait for the help of your imaginary friend that you know is not going to happen.
  25. And you are still waiting.
  26. You hate me when I have statues that you claim are man-made.
  27. And you are not able to understand that DHL doesn’t deliver in vertical directions for your book and pendent on your necklace.
  28. You can’t accept that a father who sent his son to be killed is cruel and not normal.
  29. Dead means dead; it’s not “called home”.
  30. You don’t have a mind of your own.

 

41c1d-originalAndy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people.

He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You.

He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.

 

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