Before I got my eBook published, I went around seeking publishers who would (silly me, I know) help me in this whole scary thing if I would pay a little fee to them. However, not knowing how scary some sales people can be, I knocked on the door of a publishing company that I would come to dread inadvertently. I soon found myself stuck in the nightmare that I never thought I’d get into, because I was too polite to reject (I’m a nice guy, you know). Here I am, after having my first book published and a peace of mind for months, sharing the interesting (I think) correspondences between the sales person of the publishing firm and me.
It started off with her emailing me regarding my interest to publish my book, even when the company I approached wasn’t the one she contacted me with. I learnt later that they were from the same umbrella of publishing firms. This is her first email to me (click on the images to read the emails):
Not wanting to disappoint even when I’m not taking up the offer (because I’m a nice guy), I replied her:
She didn’t know what to do next, so she got her supervisor to reply my email with baits:
I thought it was time to be frank with her (truth is, I read reviews about how screw up this publishing firm was, so I decided to go against signing up with them), and so I did:
I thought I would not be hearing from her again. Who knows, 1 month later, she was back!
She asked for a reply if I wasn’t interested, so I gave her a tactful reply telling her that I really wasn’t:
But she didn’t seem to understand what I was trying to tell her.
And after some time, she contacted me again (with a list of marketing stuffs I couldn’t bother myself to read):
She was starting to get on my nerves, so I thought I had to be blunt this time. Here’s my reply to her:
But she wasn’t giving up:
Few months later, she was back!
So, I replied her again:
She then sent me a courteous response:
I thought that would be the last of her, but I WAS WRONG!
I decided to just ignore her. I concluded that she was having issues understanding my English. I thought since I couldn’t get it into her, ignoring her might be a better idea. But I was wrong (again!). Soon I started receiving multiple calls a day from her, just to get me to publish with them. The last straw came when I received up to 4 missed calls (because I decided to ignore every calls from her number), and I thought since I had to be rude to get her off my back, I might as well have some fun doing that. Hence this email:
And God finally answered my prayers when she replied this to me:
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how I got an annoying salesperson out of my world.
Andy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people. He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You. He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.