Men’s Habit

Source: published.sg

We stood in the middle of the train cabin, squeezing with the crowd on our way home on a weekday evening as usual. With no available seats left, my wife and I hung on the handles trying to balance ourselves from the jerks that came with the train’s movements.

Sitting in front of us, were two ladies hiding under thick make-ups that could not cover their eye-bags. My wife, being an assistant to a dermatologist, started paying attention to them chatting with each other. Then, putting her lips to my face, she whispered:

“I have an urge to ask them if they need a dermatologist’s advice.”

“Why?” I asked.

“You see the two ladies? They have eye-bags that cannot be concealed. Just can’t shake off work in me; feel like asking if they need a professional. I can recommend my boss to them. You know…occupational habits.”

I looked at her in her eyes – I don’t know what got into me at that time – and whispered to her:

“What they need are good push up bras.”

I have to mention here that the two ladies were pretty average around their chests. By average, I mean….you know what I’m talking about. My wife, upon hearing what I’ve said earlier, turned her head and looked at me with a face that said “What the fuck”, and she was a kind of speechless from what she heard.

I – still don’t know why – gave her a face that I supposed would melt her heart (read: nonchalant), and nodded my head with my lips a little pursed out, before putting my face to her cheek and said:

“Men’s habits.”

 

Andy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people. He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You. He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.