The Soldier’s Tale

“True tales grandfathers tell are seldom pretty.”

A Blog to Regret

“Tell me a tale, gramps.”

“Alright. Once upon a war, I lost my left foot and my front teeth. When I returned home, gloriously footless, my friends deemed me a true hero. Now they’re six feet under, and I’m no longer a hero. And my foot? Still missing. The only thing that grew back, postbellum, was my virginity. The end.”

“That’s not a good tale, gramps. ”

“You didn’t ask for a good tale. You asked for a tale. And true tales grandfathers tell are seldom pretty.”

“I didn’t ask for a true tale, either.”

“You’re hard to please, eh? No wonder you’re single. But alright then, I’ll tell you another one.”

“About grandma?”

“About grandma. You don’t look a whole lot like her; she was a beauty, you know. Silky curls, blacker than midnight, and mesmerizing eyes, darker still. Her blood was ablaze with the kind of fire that…

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