Mad Monday: My Smuggle Attempt

It’s the first day of the week, and I’ve something new coming up!

Starting today, every Monday to Friday, I will write about a different topic every day of the week. Going by the first alphabet of the name of the days, the days shall be:

Mad Monday

Tactical Tuesday

Woeful Wednesday

Tearful Thursday

Fearful Friday

Every different day (Mon to Fri), I’ll write something in line with the topic of the day. But I’m not a centenarian, so if you are interested in sharing maddest thing you have done, or some things that you did tactically because, well, you didn’t want to get caught, or some woes you encountered during your personal or professional life, or watched a tearful show or been through a situation that made you cry, or you had some scary ass stuffs happened to you that you can’t forget, I appreciate you sharing with me your unique story. Who knows, your story might be fun?

Today’s Mad Monday, and I am going to start the ball rolling by sharing with you one of the maddest thing I’ve done in my life.

I was 17 years old, and I just had the permission from my parents to go overseas with my friends. By saying “overseas”, I mean every word of it. What I did not mention is the distance. Essentially, the overseas trip I went was rendered complete when I had my passport stamped on after I crossed a bridge. If you still do not understand, I mean traveling to Malaysia from Singapore.

So my friends and I were happily traveling to this beautiful country where we could litter and chew gums, and smoke cheap cigarettes. We arrived in the morning, and we planned to leave the country in the evening. We spent a day shopping and eating, because currency conversion made the whole trip condescending. We would smoke while we walked, even in the malls, and we would dump the butts everywhere we went without having to fear getting caught. Fuck the rules, because money would talk to the authorities if we were in trouble.

After our dinner, our street-smart friend who was our tour guide suggested us to go home by taxis that picked and sent passengers across the causeway. At a fee of 30 bucks per person, we could have ourselves picked from the southern side of Malaysia and sent home right to our doorsteps. That wasn’t cheap, but that would be money well spent if you know what I mean. So it was agreed on, and we did our last shopping before we headed for the pick up point called the “taxi stand”.

As we walked the mall to finalise our purchases, my tour-guide friend resolved to buy something that wasn’t going to be legal to cross the customs. I’m not going to go into details here, but just know that it would land our sorry asses in jail if we were caught. But being 17 years old and a little idiotic, we thought we could get away with it if we were careful. So I encouraged my friend to buy the thing he wanted.

After he handed the money to the guy selling the stuff (calm your tits; it wasn’t drug), he pondered over how he would bring it across the customs. It wasn’t of concern to me, because I was busy stacking my pockets with gums (if you don’t know, chewing gums are illegal in Singapore) and cigarettes. What was the problem he had?

Before leaving the mall, my friend – I would say he’s kinda smart – hesitated for a bit. He wanted to find a way to hide the stuff he bought, and he didn’t want to hide only before we were about to hand over our passports. He did not want to step out of the mall, because he wanted to be safe. In any event if we were being observed and report was made to the authorities, we would be damned. So he wanted to figure a way out right before our feet stepped out of the mall that was closing. Damn person with a spy’s caliber.

I reiterate: I was 17, and I was idiotic. Believing in loyalty to friends, I offered to hide his stuff for him. Where would I hide it then? Well, my choice was my shoes.

I put the stuff he bought into one of my shoes, put my foot in and we walked out like nothing happened. We got on a taxi, and headed home thinking that customs check would not bother to inspect vehicles as thoroughly as walking travelers.

How wrong we were.

A bunch of 17 year olds in a taxi going into Singapore is as good as swinging a banana in front of a troop of monkeys. Naturally, we were stopped, and we were instructed to step out of the taxi to be searched for any contraband items that we could be trying to smuggle across. Effective officers doing their jobs.

The rest of it is history. I would say that I’m lucky to avoid jail, and I am able to share this story here. Thinking back now, I guess what I did made into the book “maddest things I did in my life”. If I could go back in time, I will not underestimate the intelligence of the officers on duty, and in no hell’s way will I try to smuggle anything that perilous into Singapore. I was young and ignorant, and it made the younger me looked all the more stupid to me now. No more next time.

What’s the maddest thing you’ve ever done?


41c1d-originalAndy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people. He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You. He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.



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