ep, this is how we men do it. No mushy words, no mama-dramas. Support, that’s the key word here. Actions override concerning but fake synchronising of emotions.
Answer by Kasey Lofty:
I’m a man. I have strong feelings. I don’t mind talking about these feelings.
But the male bonding experience IS DIFFERENT than it’s counterpoint.
Let me give you an example…
Back in 2006, I told my best friend (of the last 34 years) that my wife (of 13 years) was leaving me for another man, his wonderful compassion and understanding was expressed in these words.
“Dude, That sucks!”
So much for talking it out.
However, he was building a house at that point in time, and suddenly, he called me for “help” every single time he had to run to Home Depot for sheetrock, wiring, tools, screws, nails, anything. He’d build half of it without my help, but suddenly, my help was VITAL. Three, four times a week… every weekend.
And I had a safe place to talk and vent. I got to feel that I belonged. I got to be useful and helpful… He didn’t want me to be alone while in such pain.
Despite how busy he was, he showed up to help me find a new home, move out of the marital home, clean it out, paint the new place … everything.
It’s not about WORDS… we are guys. It was real actions that accomplished things that needed done in order to heal and get back on track with life.
Don’t think that a lack of WORDS means a lack of emotions. I heard TONS of empty, pithy, meaningless words… “She’ll regret it once it’s too late” “You’ll be better off” “God never gives you more than you can handle” … all empty meaningless bullshit.
And don’t underestimate the power of male bonding. My friend didn’t give me advice… he gave me SUPPORT. It was wordlessly understood that he was there no matter what or when for anything I needed.
Andy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people. He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You. He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.