A Morning Sarcasm

On my way to work this morning, I thought I could visit the mart below my office for some purchase before I start my work. Walked the aisle, grabbed the stuff that I wanted, and I went to queue behind a gentleman at the cashier for my payment.

I have to mention that the building my office is in, is located in an area that is “not-very-local”. Essentially it is a place commonly known as “Little (insert country name)”.

It seemed to me that the gentleman, who was in front of me, was in a way acquainted to the cashier who was handling the payments. They were chatting while the lady was scanning the pile of items that the guy brought to her. I did not wish to eavesdrop on their conversation, but one particular topic that they were talking about was somewhat related to me, and so I decided to hear it out.

The man asked the lady if she was considering staying here in Singapore for good, to which the lady replied that she couldn’t, because her pay wasn’t high enough to be eligible for PR application. The guy suggested that she could marry a Singaporean man for this, so it would be easier. The lady then said this:

“Don’t want. Singapore man very shy, very gentle. They (are) like boy, not man. Everything also yes, how to take care of wife? I don’t like.”

She noticed that I was listening to them, when I looked at her saying that. She looked at me, and with a bitchy look, asked me, “Right?”

I felt a need for justice. And so I asked her:

“Which place of your (insert country name) are you from?”

“(insert country’s city)”

I leaned towards the counter as I put my stuff to her, and looked at her and said, “Trust me when I say that in your heart, you are glad that you are here, far away from the chaos and unrest caused by the mindless people of your country, who are right now protesting over something that they don’t have any clear picture about. They are, in our eyes, just brainlessly objecting to something that they thought they know better, which in fact, they don’t. Being here gives you the advantage to see things from a further and better perspective, and I’m sure you feel the same about your fellow countrymen as we do. So while you—we welcome to—enjoy the good pay, the peace and prosperity, and the bright future here, you have to also be thankful that all these are possible because we, the citizens, are all good boys and good girls that make these happen. Put a city of naughty boys and girls together, and you’ll get what is happening to your hometown now.”

She looked at me in my eyes with a pokered face; I don’t think she totally understood what I had said. The gentleman who was listening to what I was saying giggled. I passed my money to the lady, smiled and grabbed my stuff and turned away from her.

I gave the man a wink before I smiled and walked away.

 

Andy Lawson is the average man on the street that you’ll not even trouble yourself looking at him if he passes by you. He’s sensitive to bullshit, and he hates mediocrity in most people. He is the author of his self-published book: Facts and Fiction of Fengshui: Facts that Masters are NOT Telling You. He doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, because he hates to be associated with people who tend to be passive-aggressive online, but he does have a very limited set of vocabularies, terrible grammar, a twisted mind that makes himself God in his own twisted world and an ability to communicate with people who wish to be his friend.